I Love You and Broken by You
by: Haidir Aulia Reizaputra
Dear my beloved,
Listen, I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind.
You should have known that i love you so much.
Its nice to love a person who did not say anything
but you feel everything
than to love a person who says everything but you feel nothing
I’m mad at myself, not you. I’m mad for always being nice.
Always apologizing for things I never did, for getting attached.
For making you a huge part of my life, wasting my time on you, depending on you, thinking about you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, changing all for YOU.
But most of all, not hating you when I know I should.
You are The only person that has ever truly been there for me.
I miss your heart so much, all the time, everyday, I have bad dreams of what it’s like to not be with you, I wake up crying.
I know I was never there for you pretty much ever, yet you stayed by my side, you deserves so much more then me.
I don’t know what my life will be like without you, I know I’ll never in my life find anyone that would give me the love you gave me.
And one day I’ll gladly hope to hear that you will be getting the loves you always deserved.
Its the only thing that will get me through this, knowing that one day she will be truly happy and much better off without me.
Sorry for too much talking, Okay, Leave, but remember this.
I will always be there, in the back of your mind, deep in your heart, on the sidelines, and you will see me out of the corner of your eye..
But by the time you realize that I am what you wanted, I will be gone and there will be nothing you can do because I stayed long enough and you never came....
Do you thinking about me while you’re with him?Do you find yourself comparing him to me?
Are you having second thoughts about letting me go?
OR Was it really WORTH breaking my heart?
I can’t talk to you anymore,
it’s not that I am mad at you,
it’s just that when I talk to you,
I realize how much I love you,
and when I realize how much I love you,
I realize I can’t have you and that makes me love you even more.
I want to be able to smile again
but even the thought of a smile makes me think about yours and thats really hurts.
You make me Happy.
Sad.
Excited.
Angry.
Upset.
Ecstatic.
Humiliated.
You make me everything I can be.
Your brought joy into this life of mine, but left with more than that.
I’ve changed and I don’t know if it’s good.
I’ve become stronger, and wiser.
Yet unhappiness and dread lurk inside of me.
You may not believe it, but I loved you, or at least thought I did.
Now I don’t know how I can put it but no matter how much I try to forget, I never will.
Because unlike you, forever and always meant something to me.
You don’t realize how much someone meant to you until they break your heart
How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.
Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something i never had.
Never regrets your choices for rejecting Me
because i will never regrets my choices for choosing you
thanks for all
Someday, it will be your turn, to feel my pain.
One day you’ll decide to love me and I’ll be long gone by then.
I wouldnt exactly call you a mistake.
I would call you more like a lesson WELL learned
Sometimes I wonder what you think of me or if you do at all?
You were my everything and I?
I was your toy?
Even after all you put me through,
I still miss you
Its easy to fall for someone you like,
but harder to realize that they don’t feel the same way about you.
One day you’ll wake up and realize “Damn, that boy really did love me!”
I may regret the way we ended, but I will never regret what we had
I don’t miss you,
I miss who I thought you was back then.
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